I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this chance to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in an extended while, I don’t feel alone.
Section of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I would be this for the wrong reason; as a way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to fairly share wasn’t yet clear during those times; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside. acim teacher Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I could not consider something that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere using its residents’peace of mind, by just my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief has been (has been?) released.
You can find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.